Women Who Hike Road Trip
At the end of February, I flew into Oklahoma City to embark on a road trip through Arizona and Utah with fellow Women Who Hike Ambassador Jo (who Id never met prior to that day!) As many of you know by now, we were headed to a Women Who Hike ambassador weekend. Reality and Social Media collided head-on when 25 Women Who Hike Ambassadors (there are currently 60 in total!) and the Woman who brought us all together - Nicole Brown - gathered, in person, at a cabin in Colorado to, for many of us, meet for the first time.
Women Who Hike has a large social media presence both with the groups instagram and facebook pages, and many of the ambassadors personal social media accounts also have large followings. The ambassadors locations range geographically but represent many of the 50 states (and there is a Canada ambassador too!). Often times this vastness in geography is the limiting factor in truly getting to meet and to know our fellow ambassadors well. Our interactions are often limited to Instagram posts and stories. While seemingly superficial, these interactions do a lot to foster a sense of community among our ambassadors, and I went into the weekend feeling like most of the Women at least wouldn’t be complete strangers.
Nevertheless nerves escalated with each passing day. I had the kind of nerves that make you want to fake an excuse to avoid the situation all together. Lie awake at night nerves. Yes, meeting new people is stressful in and of itself and many questions and concerns arise regarding compatible personalities, daily habits and lifestyles, and even energy levels. But that is routine in meeting and spending time with any new person. These nerves were different, more intense and probably more classifiable as true anxiety. I thought about this particular weekend more closely, reflected on what was unique or different about this experience and tried to determine what specifically was going on. Why was I so gripped with nerves about meeting this group of women?’
There are several factors at play of course including the sheer number of new people to meet and the tiredness (from pure adventure!) brought on by the week prior. The truth is that a large part of my anxiety was related to imposter syndrome (hai old friend!) and the dreaded style of comparison that social media can only cultivate.
Gathered together in that cabin were the women I admire most on social media.
When I scroll through Instagram, it is their posts that cause me to pause. Their photos include beautiful vistas and their captions speak of grand summits and long miles in the outdoors. They are talented artists and poetic writers. They are funny and strong and resilient. I admire them greatly, and naturally, as is the nature of social media and life, I compare myself to them almost daily (because social media addiction is real!) Compare my accomplishments to theirs. Compare my photos, and my goals, and my life to theirs. And because we are all our own worst critics, I come up short in my own eyes. Meeting these women and finally putting a human into the place of the instagram photos, would lay out all of my insecurities in front of me in real time and flesh.
Whew. Talk about damn stressful.
But as anxiety is not rational, neither was this fear. Our community is beautiful and the weekend was amazing. My insecurities drifted away with every hour spent together with these wonderful women. After all, we are a group based in empowering other women and each other. Our roots are in uplifting community over glorifying competition. That is who Women Who Hike is, and our ambassadors are living, breathing, hiking examples.
Since our weekend together our community has been discussing these ideas more. As we are recognizing the effect social media has on us - how it affects our mood, our day to day lives - we are talking about these feelings of imposter syndrome, comparison, and just the simple , but crushing, feelings that you are not enough. These emotions and how to combat them are being shared more, but most importantly they are being shared on social media. Women are seeing these ideas and relating, and relating hard. Breaking up the superficial dialogue with real talk about our emotions and struggles is beautiful and difficult and honest and raw. It cultivates empathy, and it cultivates community.
So the next time you are feeling inadequate scrolling through social media, know 1) that you are not alone, and 2) this is a side effect of social media. Consider unplugging, consider minimizing your social media/phone usage, consider surrounding yourself with friends who will tell you that you are enough. And if you don’t have those people, considering joining Women Who Hike, where you will be instantly apart of a wonderful community.